Well, I’m still somewhat overwhelmed, but I often do feel like that I guess. *shrugs* Probably one of the many things I’ll always deal with.
I did however start meditating again. I felt I needed it. Not sure how I feel yet. *shrugs*
On the plus been doing loads of reading. Got really into it when I started reading the second series of The House of Night by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast. Forgot how good those books were. I completely devoured them. Soooo good! Then, moved on The Little House books, well one of the later series of them, The Rose Years by Roger Lea MacBride. Just as good as the original ones I think. Right now working on “To Sleep in a Sea of Stars” by Christopher Paolini. I wasn’t sure how I’d like this one, but its soooo good! So hard to put down. I highly recommend it.
Oh yeah, I did some loveliness. I am so accident prone. I was taking some nasal spray last night. It wasn’t wanting to come out. My hand slipped and it went right in my eye. It was okay though. Didn’t even really hurt actually. I rinsed it and all was well. I actually did something similar before. Some years back I had had an eye infection and had been taking drops. I stupidly kept it with my eye drops. Naturally I eventually put it in my eye. That burned like crazy! And that eye was super dry after. Though it was okay too.
I was especially annoyed last night though since I was having issues with my one eye. Allergies or whatever I guess. Was draining on one side and the other was dry from moisture dripping (likely eye drops. I have dry eye. Actually got eye plugs put in for it which helped some.). Luckily I didn’t do it to that eye. Just was so mad at myself.
Guess that’s about it.
So…I haven’t written since before my vacation.
In regards to that it was okay. Not as good as my first.
Anyway, lately been feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Work is always an issue there. It gets to me. Just gets…rough. But right now mostly I think some of the habits I’ve been trying to do aren’t helping. And by habits I mean things like my bullet journal, gratitude journal, mediation, stuff like that. Though I do think the meditation has been helpful. I just feel stressed about it. Especially in the morning doing that stuff.
I did discuss it with my mom and I’m taking a break from it. And then I’ll slowly try the stuff again and see how I feel.
Today was the first day I tried. I feel sorta happy I guess. More free. Part of me I guess doesn’t want to. I’m not saying I’m giving up the stuff. Not yet. I’m going to see how I feel. Like the meditation I do enjoy. Some days its meh but other days awesome. I think it does help too. But I’m going to try without it and see like the other stuff. Could be I’m just trying to do too much. But again we’ll see.
Today has been…okay I suppose.
Work was irriatating me this morning. I was very grumpy. I went on an early break which I wasn’t pleased about, but on the other hand just wanted to take a break too. It didn’t really matter since I went home early anyway. They needed to cut people because they keep scheduling way too many people. Only worked slightly under three hours. I was fine with it since I was kinda hoping they’d have to. Would of been nice if they’d decided that before putting me on break. Also gotta watch it. I can’t lose too many hours. I think they said they gotta look at tomorrow’s schedule too, so hopefully they don’t shorten me. I already have a total of 3 short days counting today. So just gotta watch it with going home early.
Its hard cause I just get so sick of it. A lot of the people I work with are idiots. Honestly people tend to get on my nerves. Its just…very hard for me. Plus I get sick of having to do more then the others. I just don’t feel like working right now. But I need to, and besides I should be grateful to have this job, and I am. Its just hard sometimes. Especially when I get into these slumps or moods.
When I got home I played a bit of Animal Crossing: New Horizons and took a nap. After I woke up I fed myself, lazed a bit then cleaned my room.
Also had a doctor appointment over the phone. This doctor takes care of any medical stuff I need for my anxiety and depression (same place my counselor is at). I hate these things because I have a real hard time being completely honest. I always get scared they’ll think I’m nuts and lock me up. I know I’m not, just have trouble with stuff, but I hate telling them this stuff. I do have to get better with that. I do however, try to be mostly honest.
Anyway nothing major there. She renewed my medications I think and is sending scripts for a blood test. She wants me check that I’m all good.
On the subject of medical junk I think I’ve been grinding my teeth at night again. Ever so often it pops up. I guess when I get tense. I usually would wear a mouth guard for a bit at night and it would go away. I tried a different kind (since that’s all there was at the store). However, it made my gums feel weird in the morning. I think maybe the plastic rubbing on them? Not sure. But gonna try it without it tonight. I’ll just try not to clench them if I can help it. I hate when this happens, since it makes my mouth hurt. Hopefully it’ll go away soon.
Well, I guess that’s it for now.